I'm moving

Hi all,

I'm moving to a new blog address http://halfrebel.typepad.com/ which is hosted on TypePad which i've found more sleeker and user-friendly for my purposes. Do comment on new look of blog.

Cheers,
Himanshu

My SELF

This is a post long due on my blog. I haven't written anything on this blog since a long time. To give an excuse, most of the people leave writing posts on their blogs after three months of starting their blogs. One can call it the fatigue factor. Initially, it's the euphoria of starting a new thing but later on, one has to have a very strong reason for writing. To some people, the instinct might come from within but to a rather mute person like me, It sometimes feels more of an effort.

A blog is a manifestation of a person's self expressed in words. Whenever we want to look at us in retrospect, we want to look at ourselves as perfect. Therefore, most of us don't like our photographs because most of us aren't photogenic. Similarly, Writing a blog is an easy thing but when over a period of time when your pieces of writing get build up, Many a times you come up with pieces that weren't written with fullest sincerity. And in my case, it makes me feel Bad. So, In a way, I've accepted this fact that I do not live my life with sincerity but do not like that that I'm imperfect.

Most of bloggers who write continuously usually have something to write about. But subject usually fail me. What should i write about. Germany? Regarding what.. The people here? the contrasts with India? Economy and Infrastructure, etc etc. I'll tell all about it to anyone who's interested in asking about any of these, but write it on blog.. It's strange that i'm not able to conjure up a coherent story.

In fact, I just lack every trace of coherency in my life. I do not know my life's goals. Currently i'm reading Milan Kundera's "The Unbearable Lightness of being". Kundera speaks about life as a unique event which has never occurred before. Nobody knows the future and the fear of the unknown is constant companion to everyone because what happens tomorrow has never happened before. Therefore, not knowing my life's goals should be the only possible option before me. That i do not know my future is the only reason i look forward to the future. If i were to know everything about my future, life would just be too boring. Perhaps, Understanding this truth helped me in ridding myself of frustration for few moments but still it didn't charged me in any way towards the way i do my office work or conduct my everyday relations.

So, Being a self-proclaimed amateur Economist, I can clearly say that I do not have an incentive in my life. The incentives that i have right now such as earning money to achieve short-term gratification don't propel me to change my attitudes towards life. But simply speaking, I've come to feel that i've a problem with the conventional incentives. In fact, I usually find other people strange who do things with their full zeal. I feel very grateful to people who help me, care for me and love me and I find myself reciprocating such things without doing any personal efforts. But to other things where the reciprocation is done by money or a higher authority order, I find it extremely turn off. So, clearly The incentives in my case aren't the usual incentives such as money, promotion or anything else but they are People, My personal attachments with them, time spent together and mutual understanding. But I also understand that most of people i know seem to do things as if they really want to do what they're doing. Or at least, their dedication, sincerity and zeal makes me feel so. I just want to understand that whether i'm an exception in this world of Perfect humans or whether i'm the norm and everybody is wearing a false face? If i were to ask my friends, they'll just ignore my question and say "Well.. nobody knows. Why don't you just continue with life and at least enjoy it in a better fashion by fighting for usual incentives." Perhaps.. Perhaps..

In a world of Perfects, i'm the one with the clown face. In the world of faces, I'll show everyone my true self coz nobody will believe it. Such would be my fate. Amen.

Found God - The Physics Way

For past few months, I've been dwelling on Atheism, God and the fear of the unknown. And Now, After going through research spanning several decades by eminent Scientists and reading though our Hindu philosophy, I've come to conclusion that whether God exists or not, He can be described in real sense using available modern science in concrete terms. Here's my theory:

All non-Hindu followers who believe in God, are perplexed by stone and idol-worshiping practice of the Hindus. Those acquainted with Christian philosophy will know that according to Christianity, God can't be present in anything present in this whole Universe that we can imagine of as everything that's even remotely human is unholy. Similar view is true of Islam too. As per Bible, Christ came to this earth, but he wasn't a human and none of His body or deeds were even comparable to Humans. He was born from a virgin (Mary) and never married (Therefore, this hullabaloo over The Da Vinci Code).

Now, Going by Hindu philosophy, God is present inside everything present in Universe that we can think of and can't think of. So, When we worship a stone We are not worshiping a stone, We are worshiping God which is inside stone. Cut the stone into two, You won't find God standing there playing a flute or an electric guitar. The two pieces of Stone still have god inside them and as per your belief, you can continue to worship the Stone to please the God ultimate.

Now, keep on cutting the stones to further smaller pieces. To what level you'll go.. Molecules, Atoms, proton, neutrons, electrons? Just keep on cutting. Now, According to Modern Science, The smallest atomic particles discovered till date are electron, positron, neutrino and anti neutrino. So, Finally these can be assumed as the equivalents of Brahma, Vishnu, Mahesh and Shakti (Kali) in Hindu philosophy as God can't reside inside anything further smaller. Therefore, Positron == God.

PS: If you believe in non-particulate nature of matter, then God == wave. So, this accounts for the unimaginable (advait) part of God. So, Finally I've found God via The Physics way :)

The Authority Deficit

I've been thinking over a little concept for last few days. How much external influence and authority have influence on our actions. I can start the discussion with Milgram's experiment, but I would like to look at the question in a more personal and Indian contexts.

What Milgram Experiment suggest is - Human beings obey to external authority if they believe in its veracity and even in cases, The correctness of the authority isn't very clear but If the subject (Person participating in experiment) assumes that what is being asked is for some ultimate better purpose, People are willing to do what is being ordered. The Aim of Milgram's experiment was to suggest a reason for behavior of Nazi soldiers during Second world war for execution of thousands of Jews - Why didn't they protest it? What happened to their Morals? Their common sense?

The Experiment gives out a surprising result in overall statistics. People behave strangely as opposed to common sense. They perform actions which they rationally can't justify. They know that what they are doing is somewhat wrong but still as the external authority wants it and gives a plausible reason for it (which they would never believe during a rational discussion), They do it. A very cruel real life example is present here.

I would like to discuss on our personal lives. A lot many times in our life, We are asked by our supervisors, our parents to act or follow some command. A very real example would be some guy who is on site, to work continuously for 28 hours and then report next day after some 3 hrs sleep. I've never encountered a person who would not come to office next day at the right time. People would whine and complain but still they would obey. Why? Because they believe that such an action is the right action. Talking of parents, i've seen few of my friends trying to do a love marriage. The lucky ones have their parents agreeing to them but to the other ones, It's something strange. Parents give absurd reasons - caste problems, religion problems, families status problems, Society pressures, yada yada yada - All of which are rationally unjustifiable. And yet my peers never say it boldly to their parents. And what i feel most disturbing about this is - They accept the authority of their parents. I'm very sure that there are instincts in human beings which enrage them when it comes their basic moral values. But when it comes to parent's advice people don't get enraged.. they just feel depressed and lost.

I've many roommates with whom i've had discussions on this. All of them agree with futility of arranged marriages but still none of them agrees that their parents' and families' views are absolutely absurd. What i'm trying to say all along is: They accept the authority of their parents even when these people are 25-26 years old, are intelligent, are more well read than their parents ever would be, but still accept the views of their parents. None of them has a stand that they are as intelligent and rational as their parents and therefore, they are capable of making right decisions about their life. All of them say "I can't fight against my parents, I'll try to pacify them and change their stance" - A decent approach but flawed basically. The usual approach is - "I know you're angry but please listen to me. I love this boy/girl and allow me to marry him/her". Why does no one ever say "I'm more intelligent than you would ever be and I'm going to make my own choices".

Coming back to job life, Most of us are not satisfied with our pay packages, our work profiles. And yet, when at the next boss-to-subordinate interaction, when he says that Our company has the best work, even though it doesn't has the best pay package.. Most of us believe him. At all water cooler talks at office, People cry about the pay packages but i've never heard anyone crying - This company has no work or challenging projects. Why are boss always able to project to their subordinates that the projects they are working on are Challenging enough. It's again the authority given by team members to the Boss. When he says "We've got fantastic project.. a challenging project and enticing prospects ahead" Nobody crosses him even in his own mind. Yes, i know that people do switch jobs but still everytime it's the pay package that's the driving factor and not the delusion about work challenge prospects.

I know that some people would say it as "Respect to elders" is a age-old Indian tradition. But traditions have to have some basic grounding. If we never question our traditions, our society would always remain a backward society no matter how economic growth we achieve. What i feel is that in the garb of Elderly authority, Most Indian youths are making fool of themselves by not challenging the age old beliefs.

How many times do we question the existence of God even when we can always justify every act rationally or scientifically? How many times we ever believe that our parents are normal human beings who are capable of making erroneous judgments as We youths are at an age of 25-26. We, in fact, never believe that our elders are just plain simple men and women having a limited understanding of the world as we all human beings have. I know that some people would argue against me but my point always was - "Why do people give authority to others just based on perceptions of the society on Power and Authority hierarchies?". The debate was never against elders or teachers or company bosses. It always was - Do we all lack so much authority in ourselves that as soon as somebody else exercies it, We are willing to accept it.

If you are not yet satisfied with my reasoning, Watch Black Friday. It beautifully tells the story of Badshah khan who is lured by Tiger Memon to murder Hindus for avenging Muslim blood. Never during the conversation, Badshah khan questions the authority of Tiger Memon which Tiger Memon gets only due to being group leader of the Terrorist Gang. In real life too, The bloody politicians are able to incite mobs for riots only because The Mob itself gives an unquestionable authority to the politicians to sway their views on truth and lies, and all this happens in a democratic country like India and not a totally communist country like China where the Mob has to agree. Perhaps, it's the biggest flaw of human nature that we all need a leader, for our Society to be organized. And it's the same need for a leader, an external authority which will make us realise, How big a fool we've all been.

No One

I'm the One.
I'm the One.

Don't know my goals..
but the world tells me,
you have to be the One.
Get a salary,
Get a perfect body,
and be the One.

Forget the one you love,
and marry the fair babe.
Take the initiative, be creative.
Be a leader,
After all,
there is no glory
in just being a seeker.

Run..
coz if you don't run,
you're a loser.
Read the books..
coz if you don't read,
you're a fool.
it doesn't really matter,
if you don't understand anything.
Your life,
has to be interesting.
or, else copy the Page3 preachers.

Life's a mess,
and it can't belong to those,
who find it without having tons of money.
and then without leaving it all,
and then without going to himalayas,
and then without becoming the next Budhdha!!

God..
The messiah of the losers,
The Biggest lie on Earth,
and yet everyone's brainwashed.
Find him, and get the Nirvana.
Its just that.. nobody knows
whether he too wants to be the One!!

If i'm not the One,
I have to be the One.

You understand me!!
I just can not be a No One.
I'm the One.
I'm the One.

Corrupt mind (or, Corrupt brain)

This article caught my attention. A Person in US started behaving abnormally after developing a brain tumour. Remove the tumour, off goes the abnormality. Resurfaces the tumours, resurfaces the problem.

Another article in TOI reported that a person UK got paid 3m for a damage to his brain which altered his personality.

The question here, as raised by The Economist, is about the free will. Do we have a free will or, are we conditioned by some factors over which we have no choices. I haven't read Broca's brain but have heard about one or two fascinating cases mentioned in the book - cases about persons who can recognise stationary objects but can't register moving objects, and about many more mind-boggling cases.

Though these cases caught my attention just for their peculiarity, but when i told these cases to my friends, they just said - "So, now you've got an excuse for your lecherous activities". Huh! Sometimes even when you're speaking truthfully, nobody believes you. Where's the question of free-will when it comes to people making judgements about you.

Longing for an answer

I was just wondering over a trivial question, Why do men generally have shorter head hair and women longer head hair in Human societies. I tried to find the answer but couldn't find anything satisfactory than shorter hair for man are proscribed in military services just for the purpose of maintaining discipline.

In Indian context, i can't find any specific reason for this practice. i'm not saying that this is something horribly wrong happenning with our society, still just for a curiosity. One thing about men and women hair i know for sure - only men become bald, not the women. Women's head hair density becomes low but they don't become bald. Is that got something to do with shorter hair for men.

The only reason i've been able to conjure up is, it just started somewhere as a tradition and since then, its been continuing without anybody ever questioning it. Well, The Great Indian culture!!

Note: I understand that sikhs have long hairs, but again that's for a traditional reason. Similarly, the dudes having pony tails or boys who keep long hairs nowadays are doing it just for the sake of individuality (read - for pretending to be hip and followers of western values) So, somewhere in our society, it's not natural for men to have longer hairs. The same kind of argument will apply to women also. They do have bob cuts, etc. but still the ratio is heavily skewed in favour of long haired woman.

huh.. In the end, what a silly question when Indian Economy is growing and india's youth (i'm surely not one of them, according to the surveys done by business magazines all over india. Though i've never met even one person who personifies the ideal indian youth presented in these magazines) are sucking the lifelines of the West with their firang accent, writing software codes and by answering one or two profound questions of the world in BPO call centres? I should better get going to get a haircut. At least it will help to beat the mumbai humidity.

jackwise

my friend prakhar has written few very nice poems on his blog. Do visit.

sky-crapper

Okay, what do you do when you begin to feel that the quality of your writing is no longer to your satisfaction. You stop writing or, you continue the crap expecting that perhaps beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. That's why, even in this all mess of mine, i believe some patient and imaginative reader will be able to find some beautiful pattern that will make him relive the memories of long long forgotten childhood, drops of rain and usual emotional stuff. So, all of you reading my infinite universe of crap, one advice for you. Do keep reading my blog regularly so that you'll always have confidence in yourself that perhaps you don't write that bad after all. There is someone in this universe who is lot worse than you.

Plagiarised Business idea # 1

I'm not quite aware of How the Medical system works in US. As far as i know Mediclaim is one of the biggest expenses there and All reknowned Hospitals ask for your Mediclaim papers before treating you. However, now they've come up with some fast-food versions of bigger Hospitals. However, in india its the Jugaad that wins always. So, we already have clinics at every nook and corner comprimising of allopathic, homeopathic, Yoonani, etc. So, you want medical treatment at Rs. 10/- you can have it.

Still, the philosophy adopted by Hospitals in US can be applied here in India. For e.g. Government can allow some similar medical clinics on the local train platforms of mumbai. In such a busy life of mumbai, its just way too difficult to extract time for a visit to Doctor. Even though we have doctors at every nook and corner. Still, the best ones are always crowded and one has to take a margin of one to two hours for any simple treatment. So, definitely i would welcome such versions.

PS: If somebody amongst you has been excited by my plagiarised business idea, then whenever you open you clinic, do thank me. And one more thing.. Will we get the nurse shown in the photograph. Well, that's The Tipping point.. what say?

i'm burning.. still

Today I read an article of Hugh Mcleod. I won't say that it was bad or boring in any way at all. However, I do feel that all Creative persons have self-attached ego with themselves. So, they keep on trying to show the way for the world. I'm not saying that Hugh is any way boring or, his work is bad ( in fact it's fantastic). However, I can't take straight advises from someone, So can't accept his too.. Heh. Spirit of Half Rebel alive inside me.

Himanshu Zen

No, i haven't changed my surname. i'm Himanshu Gupta still.

For last few days, i'm again going into that blank phases of mine. So, i thought that since indian philosophies and hinduism isn't working for me. (yeah.. i know that i don't do anything least bit religious still.. frankly speaking i'm bored) So, i thought that why not give Zen teachings a try. At least, the things you don't understand can be termed as enlightening. In hinduism you will get interprations of every Act of Gods (Democracy.. duh). In Zen teachings, nobody will explain you anything. You just keep observing the universe, try to solve some mind-less puzzles (can' use mind in solving them). So, i thought that maybe a mind-less guy like me(this time speaking it literally) would fit good with Zen. However, i'm yet waiting for enlightenment when i'll take my first step towards it.

RSS Feed, The murderer

Did RSS Feed kill anybody.. yes they did. i'll tell you how. They killed the google Ads, the source of income for a "now poor" blogger like me. Now anybody who is using a feed reader such as Google reader or, bloglines must have observed by now that the Google Ads that show on the blog during normal viewing don't figure in the RSS Feed reader interface. So, one misses all the Ads and that's the reason that I, who once used to get millions of visits and used to make millions of dollars by my Google Ads no longer make any money because nobody visits my blog anymore. They all read it on their feed readers where my Google Ads can't reach.. Oh god.. did ye hear my cries, did ye hear that RSS Feeds killed my ambition of equalling Warren Buffet's wealth. RSS Feed.. the murderer.

Now, to those who don't even know what RSS Feeds are, Go phish. and i'll live in the misery along with my google Ads. what? you can' see any Google Ads on my Blog. well.. there's an old story about a beautiful painting of "cow eating grasss". Have you ever seen it. i'll show it to you. Here is it below.
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you: Er.. can i ask you something Mr. Himanshu. i can't see any painting above here.

himanshu: Well.. the picture is of a cow eating grass.

you: i can' see the grass.

himanshu: Well.. the cow has eaten all of it.

you: and now where's the cow? After eating all the grass it has left the field and has gone to graze somewhere else.. is that what you are saying.

himanshu: exactly...

i think you got my point. Okay, don't kill me. sorry for such a long long Poor joke.

Father. i've a confession to make.

What the Heck!! Do you guys even understand the pressures of feeling blogimpotent. i'm just imagining the pressure of real one's (and being a pervert won't make you an eligible bachelor) My Advice, Go to Doctor and have a check. I had mine just this morning. I'm not diabetic.

Bodhisatva,The Realization

I always used to console myself over my poor grades in college saying that 'one should be an allrounder in life' believing that a little bit of dancing besides studies would make me an all-rounder. Alas! i was wrong. In life, it is always decided by others that whether you're an allrounder or not.

Thanks.. Babu

lo! Here's the secret behind mumbai being voted the rudest city in the world. i'm proud of my manhood (pun unintended) .

PS: The heading of this post is a tribute to Manoj Bajpai's iconic feat in 'Road'. i hope my fans will send me boxes full of cakes and pastries saying 'Thanx.. Babu'. Well... don't bug me alright. i used to attend english speaking classes at a time. So, a word or phrase was given at the start of the class and everybody had to frame a sentence using that phrase. so, it was just one of those sentences. However, i wouldn't mind if you'll send me a suitcase full of cash. I swear i'll send you a clip saying "Thanx.. Babu" in my own natural amitabh bachchan baritone voice.

Fasting, Feasting

Here's to Americaano indian culture spreading in our indian cities. I've heard that Anita Desai has written a novel by the same name as the Heading of this post. Okay, my dear google i've found it.

Do look at the comments on Paris Hilton's pic. Though for paris hilton's true fans, here's a gem.

Is Google missing something?

The eye-candy of today's www (world wide web, How many of you still remeber that :) ) Google definitely seems indestructible and unstoppable today. Just go to google Labs and you would be amazed.

However, i've found two flaws about Google which might be a sore throat for it in the long run. One is lack of Google's integration of its social services network and more than it, keeping most of its project in the Beta phase. Orkut is still not open to everyone as against MySpace, which anyone can join. Its blogging portal, blogger doesn't provides features such as control on Who can view your blog posts, as in case of Yahoo 360. Part of Being a social Service provider means that one should have access over one's accessories. Some major points have been raised in the following post.

My other contention is related with google's promotion of firefox over Internet Explorer. It is obvious as IE is a Microsoft's product. However, in the case of firefox, one of the most used features of Firefox is its tabs feature. You want to open a window, you just open a new tab and start surfing. The problem with this is that no homepage opens on your Screen.

Companies like google, yahoo and microsoft spend millions of dollar on tie-ups with browser developers and softwares firms such as Adobe so that their webpage would be the first preferred portal for users. Presently, Google is the first choice world over when it comes to numbers, regarding the most preferred search engine. However, if a time comes when Google starts losing in numbers behind other firms then its strategy of promoting firefox might backfire. Because the first page that the user would see would no longer be Google, instead it would be his own preferred portal such as microsoft, yahoo or any other webpage accessed directly and not after viewing Google as homepage of Firefox (or any other browser).

Perhaps, that's why Microsoft is yet to release a version of Internet Explorer with tabbed browsing facility. I would like to know reader views on this.

Food®

Mom enters kitchen to find her family seated at the table.

Mom: So what do you guys want for dinner?

Son: Original Recipe®!

Dad: Green Beans!

Daughter: Tender Roast®!

Son: Seasoned Rice!

Dad: Homestyle Biscuits!

Daughter: The Colonel’s Crispy Strips®!

Son: KFC® Snacker!

Voiceover: KFC. Resistance is futile.

This was only an Advertisement spoof. However, there are some beautiful Ads in India such as, that of Frankfinn Air Hostess Academy.

Soha Ali khan: Are reena, kya kar rahi ho aajkal?
(Reena, What are you doing now a days?)

Reena's mother: computer kar rahi hai. ek saal baad shaadi karaa denge.
(She's doing computer. we'll marry her after one year)

aaargh.. computer?? What is meant by doing computer. anyways, The spoof of This Ad can't be made for sure. It itself is a big spoof.

A million steps of bruised steel

I'm late in blogging anything about mumbai blasts. Yet, it shakes one's insides to be a part of most cosmopolitan city of india and watching gory scenes on your Television. and still.. there is nothing you can do except just sympathesize.. or is it?

As soon as the news of blasts reached everyone, the cellphone networks were jammed. if you had access to net, fine.. at least you could inform your loved ones that you are safe. But it was a different thing altogether, to observe and live the journey back home. Fully-packed buses, people walking towards homes in middle of rains, bunches of people trying to get hold of any mode of transport - i saw many trucks full of people standing on their backs. The air seemed different, i don't know whether i was afraid or not, but perhaps i was watching mumbai with a different perspective altogether.

After few moments, it seemed everyone around had forgotten what had happenned. Mumbai roads and traffic were already in tatters after few showers of monsoons and it was no different yesterday, with the situation more worse than ever with everybody switching to road transports. Stranded in traffic jams, i just observed those around me. Sitting in a company bus, knowing that you are safe now but observing the common people outside, i understood everybody knew that something terrible has happenned to the city. We were not running for our lives. We were not afraid. But it wasn't alright.

When i boarded down from the bus, i went to the temple and wished for everyone's safety. i thanked god for taking care of me and then i saw urchins playing in front of temple. Playing and laughing, they didn't care what had happenned to mumbai. i looked towards the highway, towards the traffic jam and then i looked towards the urchins, towards the temple and idol of Sai Baba and walked towards my home.

By now, All of us have watched these heart wrentching scenes of flesh and blood spilled everywhere and have discussed it with our friends, our family. Few posts by Amit and Gaurav have been really touching and really the efforts of Mumbai Help are praise worthy. But i perhaps want to understand that what is it that will change inside us when we observe such incidents. Will we change, will we stand up and give the perpetrators of terror a bloody blow on their faces. Or, perhaps we would just look towards the gods, thank them for keeping ourselves and our relatives safe, condolesce with the dead and their relatives, and move on with Life.

I don't know the clearcut answer. We don't know who did this. We don't know what purpose they would achieve by doing this. But i know that mumbai can't stop. It just can't. All local trains were operational by 10.30 p.m. yesterday night and all offices and schools are open today. The city was bruised, injured and batterred but it won't give up.

Today morning, when i came to office, there were no traffic jams. Perhaps, many people were staying in their homes and spending time with their family and loved ones instead of coming to offices. But i know that terrorists can't win. They would never. I know that again there will be traffic jams and the roads will be crowded and the city would move on, without caring two pence for anything or anyone in this world. That's the indomitable spirit of Mumbai.